And Then There Was Me

by Tara M. Foor, October 2020

In a school library setting there is so much we do to make the space appealing to students. We create an inviting environment, display materials, and host events and programs in an effort to show how students could utilize library resources to improve their learning. We research best practices, brainstorm teaching strategies, and share information on new tools that could help students pursue their learning goals and become better independent thinkers. But for me, it becomes very difficult to do all of those things without the input or feedback from my students and staff, especially during a period of high stress, such as a pandemic.

Staff Social-Emotional Care

In a previous SLC article "If Not Us, Then Who," administrator Matt Bush, discusses how the school library can be a safe space for our students by fostering connections and engaging in real conversations that could assist them during times of trauma. While this article is particularly motivating in regards to serving serve students, as school librarians we must also take into consideration the other patrons that we serve. When we talk about social and emotional learning, as educators we automatically put the needs of our students first—how are they learning and coping in this environment? As school librarians, we should broaden that concern to include the adults we also serve. How are teachers, support staff, paraprofessionals, and administrators working and coping?

School Librarian Social-Emotional Care

And then there was me…and I felt left out. I was the only librarian on staff. I was in a department of one. Let's not forget the one who is most important to take care of—ourselves!

There are always a few dates in an educator's career that seem to stick in our mental calendars. For me, March 13, 2020, is a day I do not think I will forget any time soon, simply because of all of the "what-ifs" that happened. I was in the midst of confirming my full schedule of lessons for the next week, while conversations about COVID-19 were circulating. Students were not the only ones speculating, since teachers were also scrambling to create back-up plans for the potential cancellation of school and implementation of e-learning. As a school librarian, I pride myself on being flexible. With over one hundred teachers and more than twenty-two hundred students, I have tried to be prepared for whatever inquiries, needs, or lesson ideas could come up. It is a great mental exercise to be prepared for whatever walks through the door, but what happens when the doors are mandated to be closed?

Ask Questions through Reflection

During an effort to come up with remote learning alternatives for our library, I took time to think about "soul work"—a concept of how individuals become invested in serving others (Moreillon 2020), and how I could manage my workload during this socially and emotionally challenging time while also brainstorming ways on how the library could still be effective.

As Judi Moreillon mentions, we need to understand and manage our emotions. What is the emotion we are feeling and what is causing us to feel this way? Before COVID19, I would feel stressed or burned out because I was doing so much, often because I thought that I was not doing enough. During the months staying at home, I struggled with how I could best serve my colleagues who would share frustrations with e-learning, but I also felt disconnected from the typical camaraderie that was part of my school's culture. To cope with the absence of interacting with coworkers, I started mailing postcards and letters that included printouts of funny memes to surprise their mailboxes. The extended period of being at home during COVID-19 allowed me to reflect on everything that I had been involved with and allowed me to slow down and take note of where I was devoting my time. Whether it be journaling, talking through it with a loved one, or even writing motivational sticky notes on your bathroom mirror, ask yourself what emotions you are feeling and why you may be feeling them. As we transitioned back to working in office, I was able to realize that (among other things) I could delegate some tasks to my library's support staff (or students or volunteers) after I trained them, thereby taking the work off of my plate, while still feeling like the library connected them.

Seek Answers by Focusing on What Matters

As school librarians (and educators in general), we tend to create massive to-do lists. No matter how long your list is, taking the time to devote your whole attention to something is going to allow that project to come to fruition. I am grateful for the time at home because it allowed me to pursue creating a library-based podcast that our book club students had brainstormed, but we had never found time to bring to completion. To help manage our time for this project during e-learning, we devoted one-hour blocks to each step of interviewing for a podcast episode, then editing and final revisions. Setting aside this time allowed both my students and I to focus wholeheartedly on the task and allow it to become an end result that we were pleased with.

Feeling Lonely? Connect!

There have been many moments where I've felt socially isolated during the pandemic, reminding me how our profession can sometimes make us feel separated from the rest of our staff. It helps to connect with others who feel the same way. While it can be intimidating to network, start small. Connect with others by subscribing to listservs or following others on social media. Join your state library associations as well as the American Association of School Librarians. What I have particularly enjoyed is connecting with other school librarians who live locally and gathering in a social setting, whether it is an informal Zoom meeting or a coffee date, and just chatting about anything. Even if the conversation strays away from library life, it still is an important connection because those individuals understand the workload and expectations of our job.

Apply Your Knowledge to Library Life and Reality

I have become a fan of taking breaks from anything related to library life. While this might sound counterintuitive to professional growth, let me explain. I love being a school librarian, but there are moments where I need to step away in order to clear my head. I have suffered through too many moments of working myself to the point of frustration and anxiety, where tears have started flowing down my face. As school librarians, we have a lot going on and often are the only ones to do it, which means that sometimes we set the bar too high for ourselves. Checking our expectations, as well as understanding our limits, can help us avoid losing our passion for the profession. Like many others during COVID-19, I started a garden. I also pursued my love for baking by tackling a new cookbook. Both of these hobbies allow me to take an extended period of time to focus on something that I can look after with an end result I feel directly involved in. And they relate to our need as educators and librarians to nurture and organize. Find hobbies or interests that allow you to unplug from the demands of this job. Then, when you return to your tasks at hand, you will approach them with a reinvigorated mindset.

Creating a sense of community is a natural thing in a school library, especially since we make it a priority to include students, staff, and community members in our programs, lessons, and mission. Regardless of who you welcome into your school library community, remember you are also a member of that community and don't forget to make yourself a priority as you continue to grow together.

Works Cited

Bush, Matthew. "If Not Us, Then Who." School Library Connection (January-February, 2020): 25-26.

Moreillon, Judi. "Teaching as Soul Work." School Librarian Leadership blog (May 18, 2020). http://www.schoollibrarianleadership.com/2020/05/18/teaching-as-soul-work/

Philpott, Mary Laura. I Miss You When I Blink. Atria Books, 2019.